184 – How to Cope with Loses?

Hello and welcome to Assertive Radiance. I am your host, Nadia Fleury. And this is episode “184- How to Cope with Losses.” In this episode today, I just want to have a conversation with you. I experienced an interesting episode where I forgot my purse at the restaurant two weeks ago, and it brought me a lot of learning that I want to share with you.

And so this is what we were going to talk about today. I know that, in some ways it is a small incident. However, sometimes it's the small things that bugs us the most. And when we lose something that is important, like our purse, it feels like the carpet is being ripped off from our feet. You know, we feel lost like we're losing our identity.

And it has a big impact on ourselves. We are attached to our toys and things and we don't realize it how important they are until it's no longer there. I have also learned a lot of insights about coping with the stress around it (losing something valuable). Now, mind you, that there's plenty of stress and anxiety in this world, and we have a choice to either fill our mind with more or to find ways to be at peace regardless of what is going on.

And that's the whole point of this conversation, is how do we find balance when we have been taken out of balance? The part I want to talk about today is how I dealt with it, what I've learned about it, and my suggestion for you to cope with losses when something happens in your life. So here is a story.

Two weeks ago, me and my friend went out to eat for dinner and normally we sit in a boat. But this time was half boot, half chairs. And so I was sitting on a chair and I left my bag on the spare chair next to me because the chair was tucked in. That's why I didn't see my purse when I left. When I came back home, we started watching a movie.

And, so I completely forgot about the purse until it came bedtime and I want to charge the phone. That's when I'm like, Where is it? So I had many choices, but one of them was to worry constantly, you know, eat my fingernails. The other choice I had was to completely, like, forget about it, okay? I'm not going to worry about that at all.

And the third thing I could do, which is the one thing I did, is to be aware that I don't have it, to know that I feel sad about it and concern. But in that moment there was nothing I could do about it. And I decided that was not going to let it drain me. I was not going to let myself be consumed by it.

The one thing that I had was a clear conscience, meaning we had a great evening and so the energy was good and we also had a good rapport with the server. And I think that the way we show up in public and how we interact with people has a lot to do with the outcomes in the long run.

And so from that perspective, I had peace of mind. Like there was no worry, there was no added guilt on top of worry, because that's one thing that happens in when something negative happens to us is that we will compound the energy. So let's say I'm talking about worry. Oh my God, what am I going to do?

My phone, my IDs, my my money. All this stuff is in the purse. What if I lose it all? Then I will have to replace everything. You go there. That's called worrying. And then if I say I shouldn't be unkind to this server, I know I was obnoxious. Now I'm adding guilt to my worry, which is not helping if I'm trying to go to sleep at night.

And that's the point you know, sometimes we learn things from pain. If everything goes smooth, everything goes well. We don't think that there is any problem. Nothing stop us from contemplating because life is just moving on. It's when pain comes that was suddenly like, “oh, what happened here.” Of course here it means there's a message and I pay attention to these messages.

That's my life work to pay attention to the universe cues. And I do that because I'm aware that tiny little message, if I don't listen to it, will get bigger. And so I like to look at it right from the get go, what happened? So I knew intuitively that night that I needed to get involved with doing videos.

And why I say this, because my phone is the thing that was most concerned with and I knew that I wanted to use my phone for videos. So I knew that God says, Yeah, yeah, you need to do videos and stop dithering about it. Get going with it. That was one thing. The other thing that I learn is the importance of being present.

And without realizing at one point it got to be like 1:00 in the afternoon. And that's when she said, Hey, Nadia, don't you want to go get your purse? And it's interesting because in that moment I pause and I'm like, I know it's fine. I know it's at the restaurant. You can keep going, you can keep sharing if you need to.

Eventually, maybe 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon, I went to get the purse and guess what? It was there intact, everything was in it. And so I learned quite a bit from the incident, mainly about myself. How did I address my situation? Did I lose it all? Did I blame my friend for forgetting about it? No, I didn't do any of that.

Did I stay positive? Absolutely. Did I have faith in God? Absolutely. And eventually everything turned out for the better. Now I'm aware that in duality there's bad within the good, and then there's good within the bad. Now, in this case, my outcome was good, so I had to be very careful to make sure that I'm cleared with God.

This is my belief. You don't have to believe this, but I do believe this, that this was a message because I got triggered, that I forgot something. So lack of paying attention and it brought me back to center. Okay, what am I not paying attention to? Because I was giving a break, you know, God gave me mercy.

I didn't have to buy a new phone and do all that. It told me, okay, now you need to address what the message is. And because I'm doing so, then everything is going on smoothly. This is my message today. This is what I want to share with you, that life will always give us turbulence, how you choose to deal with it.

It's up to you. You have many choices, but the best one to choose a way, in my opinion, is the one that will bring you the least amount of stress and worry. This world is already filled with stress and anxiety. Adding more to it does not do anything better for your life. Furthermore, the more you know yourself and are connected to your intuition, the more you can cultivate a sense of calmness.

When life throws an unexpected challenge your way. When you are in tune with your intuition, you have a sense of inner knowing that can provide a sense of certainty and peace of mind. Even in the face of uncertainty. Life is full of ups and downs and being aware of yourself and your intuition can help you navigate those turbulent times with greater ease.

When something unpleasant happens, it's natural to feel negative emotions. But knowing yourself and being in tune with your intuition can help you bounce back more quickly. For example, if I hadn't been able to retrieve my purse, I would have dealt with the situation one step at a time without letting fear consume me. If I had felt sad, I would have allowed myself to cry and feel the emotion the way I do it.

I would put on a sad movie and wrap myself in a blanket. I call it the sushi roll moment and I would have allowed myself to cry it out. It's important to acknowledge and accept our feelings rather than suppressing them or compounding them with other negative emotions. Like it could be like frustration, guilt or anger. The key point here is acceptance.

Acceptance of what is in the moment brings a lot of strength in our lives. It's okay to feel sad or upset when things don't go as planned, but we can still move forward and find peace in the present moment. So if you're feeling down because of something you lost, remember to be kind to yourself and accept whatever emotion comes up as this will ultimately help you grow and become more self-aware.

I hope this episode was insightful. If you believe it can help a friend, please share it and let's chat next week. Have a fabulous day.