185 – Are You Mindfully in Control or Being Controlled

Thank you for tuning into Assertive Radiance, the place to be. If you're ready to unlock your inner magic and live your best life with joy, abundance, and happiness, I am your host, Nadia Fleury, here to guide you on your journey of self-discovery and empowerment as a fierce and committed being. You know that you're capable of achieving anything you desire.

However, sometimes it can be challenging to break through fears and doubts that are holding you back. That is why every month I will dive into topics like self-care and mindset shifts to help you tap into your intuition and awaken your true potential. Ready to live with unwavering confidence? Let's get started. Hello and welcome to Assertive Radiance. I am your host, Nadia Fleury.

And today's episode, you mindfully encounter all while being controlled. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I apologize for the delay in publishing this episode. I needed time to let the information sink in before releasing it, and it took longer than anticipated. Before we begin, a quick disclaimer: while the insights that I will be sharing here are based on my personal experience as an entrepreneur, it is important to note that I am not a psychologist.

The information shared here should be seen as coming from a place of awareness rather than a medical diagnosis. If you require personalized diagnosis, treatment, or guidance, I strongly advise you to consult with a qualified professional. Now that I've clarified that, let's dive into today's topic. Are you mindfully in control or being controlled? You might be wondering, why does it matter?

Why should you care? Well, the answer is simple. If you value your freedom and peace of mind, understanding whether you are mindfully in control or being controlled can truly transform your life. Let me explain why I'm saying this. Recently, I came across a Facebook post that said, "You really have the power to create your destiny." And it made me wonder if that is true.

Why is it that stress, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, chronic pain, loneliness, financial struggles, lack of clarity, addictions, and depression are on the rise? Adding to the mix, a significant portion of the working population around the world is disenchanted with their job. It made me question further if we do have the power to create our destiny. Why are so many struggling and unhappy after many years of study?

I came to the conclusion that there is a correlation between unhappiness and lack of self-control. You know, I, too, spent a long time searching for happiness. I was looking for it as if I was chasing butterflies. And every time I thought I had caught one, it slipped through the net. I asked myself, "How to be happy?" But no matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work.

Then something clicked. Last year, I realized I had been asking the wrong question. It's not about how to find happiness, but why? When you seek to understand the why, you dive deeper within yourself, becoming a catalyst for change. "How"simply replaces one strategy with another. When it comes to happiness, it's never about how to get it, as if you could procure it at the grocery store.

Happiness is already within you, buried beneath layers. Picture yourself lost in a dark forest, uncertain which way to turn. Happiness is like a brightly lit full moon, filling your heart with vibrant energy, leading to insights, guided intuitions, and hope. The moon represents a higher force that desires to guide you towards happiness. Now, imagine the opposite scenario. You're stranded in that same dark forest with no moon to light your path.

Anxiety fills your body as every sound seems threatening. Without clarity, you may be wandering in circles for quite some time. You know what the antidote to darkness is? Light. Awareness illuminates the mind, bringing understanding. When you are attuned to your intuition and know your way, you are always guided wherever you go. And if you happen to meet someone along the way who is struggling, you will do anything to help that person.

Yet, when you're stranded on a dark night without the moon, fear takes over, and survival instincts make you strike at anything that moves. Your good heart gets overshadowed, and it becomes all about you. We all carry darkness within us, tangled up in our ego. It feeds our fear. Pain and separation are the last things it wants is for you to uncover your bright moon, your inner light.

The ego is vile, cunning, never satisfied, and resistant to change. It doesn't know when to stop, and it doesn't want to stop. But you have the power to break free from that unhealthy cycle by reclaiming control of your own mind. In today's episode, I will explore why stress, anxiety, and all the challenges I've listed earlier are not the problem itself, but symptoms of a deeper issue, a lack of self-control.

I will also raise a bigger concern, and that is when you're not mindfully in control of your mind, who or what else has access to it? Most of the time, we don't even realize our mind is being controlled because the familiar feels normal. All we know is that we don't feel good.

So we look for ways to make ourselves feel better. When we don't know, we tend to rely on our senses to find some relief. It shows up as anything we can see, drink, touch, hear, or smell that will help us feel better. For instance, imagine watching the news showing acts of violence, causing you stress and worry. Then a commercial shows up, and it suggests that maybe you should be talking to your doctor about antidepressants.

If you don't feel well. But what if the commercial simply said, "Feeling too stressed lately? Well, take a break from watching the news and go for a walk." Well, that kind of message would most likely be better for your well-being. But it's not done that way. Why? Because it wouldn't be financially profitable. And we'd need the money to buy things that will help us feel better through our five senses.

Remember that the people on the other side of the TV are also on their own quest to find happiness. And they, too, have needs they want to satisfy. And this is why addiction, among other things, is on the rise. Now, mind you, I am not suggesting that we should never enjoy what the material world offers. I want to bring awareness so that what you choose to do doesn't come at the expense of your well-being.

I also know that healing is a personal process that unfolds in its own timing. It's okay to take your time, but remember that if you keep numbing the symptom by consuming, the trauma will keep consuming you. Here is a quick overview of what you will be learning today. When you are mindfully in control, you are at peace with yourself and others around you.

In this state of mind, you become less susceptible to being influenced or manipulated. Your mind is clear, allowing you to make wise decisions that align with your desires in life. You have a clear vision of what you want and how to achieve it, empowering you to take control of your destiny. Tranquility becomes a natural part of your daily life.

And the most important of all, you have the energy to pursue the things that are important to you. On the flip side, when you are not mindfully in control, you may feel overwhelmed as if you are trapped in an emotional rollercoaster. Seeking temporary calmness, you might decide to sit down in front of the TV while drinking a glass of red wine. While occasional pleasure is not a problem, in the long run, it could increase your susceptibility to external influences such as those found on TV and social media.

A numb mind is less capable of discerning what is beneficial and what is not. Gradually, you may find yourself living at the mercy of others, doubting your ability to think for yourself. Self-doubt begins to creep in, causing fear, mental clutter, and false stories. For example, you may be dreaming of finding an amazing partner, but the self-doubt and fear convince you that you don't deserve such a good person in your life.

From this point onward, you may be tempted to give up on your life and settle to live your life by default. Your mind becomes filled with detrimental thoughts, causing even more stress and anxiety. It's important to note that all these feelings share a common thread. They drain your energy and overshadow your passion. I know that what I've just mentioned is pretty deep stuff, and it's only the tip of the iceberg.

In the past year, I've gained an ocean full of knowledge and wisdom. The insights I receive from the universe are truly mind-blowing, and I believe they have the power to positively impact and transform your life. However, if I were to share everything I know all at once, it might feel overwhelming, like drinking from a firehose. So I've decided to break down the information into four different teaching modalities, allowing you to choose what works best for you.

First, I will still continue delivering this monthly podcast episode just as before. For those of you who would love to have a more interactive experience, I have created a membership platform with three options. Option one is free and provides access to this podcast episode, as well as other perks like receiving email notifications when a new episode is released.

Option three is tailored to ambitious individuals who want to master their own destiny. In addition to receiving the two extra exclusive episodes from option number two, you will also receive 2 hours of one-on-one mastermind consultation per month with me for $222 per month. During these sessions, we can dive deeper into your current situation, address specific challenges you may be facing, and explore options and strategies to overcome them.

If any of these options pique your interest, you can find the membership link in the show notes. Lastly, I'm currently working on an exclusive deep dive masterclass called "Courageous Confidence." While I don't have the starting date yet, if you feel drawn to it and want to know more, please fill out the pre-registration link in the show notes, and I will personally contact you with further details.

Now let's go back to the topic of today and let's peel the layers as to what may control or influence your mind. As mentioned, it isn't always easy to discern when your mind is being unconsciously controlled. Influence can come from both external and internal sources. External influence refers to societal norms, expectations, our environment, and the people that are close to us.

Social media also plays a significant role in shaping our thoughts and behaviors, as many are easily influenced by it. When external influence becomes unhealthy, it can lead to dysfunctional relationships marked by codependence, manipulation, isolation, strict rules, unreasonable expectations, intimidation, and in severe cases, even physical and emotional abuse. Control can also manifest in more subtle ways originating from within ourselves.

This is the aspect I want to focus on today. Imagine a scenario where you are sitting at your desk, supposedly focusing on a project, but your mind is consumed by an argument you had with your spouse. It started months ago, and the more you dwell on it, the less you can focus. Seeking relief, you've discussed it with friends and coworkers, but the talk persists.

It follows you throughout your daily activities, from bedtime to waking up, in the shower, while you're driving, and running errands. Months passed, and the thought continues to haunt you. Gradually, it becomes an obsession occupying your mind. Rent-free signs that suggest you are not in control of your mind can include self-doubt, frustration, anger, perfectionism, excessive overthinking, and a constant need for approval.

These symptoms result in a lack of clarity, restlessness, and an exhausting inner dialogue. Over time, these internal conflicts chip away at your ability to concentrate, leaving you feeling stuck and disconnected from your authentic self. These thoughts and behaviors gradually drain your motivation and vitality, making it feel as if your efforts are going nowhere. For instance, if you own your own business, you may be trying to improve your marketing strategy to attract more clients, only to find that whatever you do, it's not working.

Similarly, if you have a regular day job, you might struggle to focus, make mistakes, and end up having to stay late to fix them by the time you come home. You're too exhausted to spend quality time with your family. Gradually, your desire takes a backseat, and frustration starts to build. The end result is a point in life trapped in a cycle of procrastination.

Failing to realize that your mind is being controlled depletes your energy and focus. And it's important to know that when we lack the motivation to take charge of our lives, we unintentionally surrender our power. You know what puzzles me? How we invest so much money in securing our material possessions. We go as far as installing security cameras to protect our homes.

Yet all too often, we neglect to shield our state of mind from the detrimental effect of negativity. That is why I feel compelled to address this topic because I firmly believe that we frequently overlook the root cause of our problems. Countless individuals remain unhappy because they allow others to control them. It's like possessing the key to your own home but willingly give it away for free.

We continuously relinquish our power by allowing external influence to dominate our thoughts, leaving us feeling powerless and drained heading to the problem. We often turn to external sources to boost our mood without realizing the harm that they can cause to our health. We increasingly rely on temporary pleasures like alcohol, drugs, or quick fixes to fill the emptiness inside.

But here's the catch. These momentary escapes come at a cost. They drain us not just financially and emotionally but also take a toll on our physical and mental well-being. As time passes, the line between pursuing wealth and power and experiencing genuine empowerment becomes blurred, pulling us further into the darkness and distancing us from our inner light—the true source of empowerment.

Now let's explore why we often fall into the mindset that money is the ultimate solution. Throughout history, from the past all the way to today, we have witnessed many power-hungry individuals who have brazenly abused their authority. And to make matters worse, society tends to put them on a pedestal as if they deserve our admiration. These tyrants have used their power in the cruelest and heartless ways, leaving many of us scarred and traumatized as the pain echoes across generations, seeping into our very own DNA, impacting not just us but also future generations.

While we may not be able to change the course of history, we have the power to rewrite our own stories—the stories that end the tyranny of our past and break us free from the never-ending cycle of pain. Although navigating the delicate process of healing is challenging, it is our life purpose to transcend our trauma. By doing so, we not only heal ourselves and our loved ones, but we also pave the way for a brighter future for the generations to come.

When we pretend all is well, deep inside, there is still a lingering feeling that just doesn't sit right. So we search for something to fill that void. The problem is it comes at a cost. And that is why we often believe that money is the solution to our problems. But I must say this cycle won't bring us the closure, happiness, and peace we crave in our souls. In fact, it will do the exact opposite. It will drain our energy. We often convince ourselves that having more money will compensate for our perceived lack of power. But here's the truth. Power and empowerment are not the same. You cannot buy empowerment with money. It's something that comes from deep within us.

Some may try to blame external factors as a way to cope or make excuses, but the truth is, if we truly want to address the problem, we need to look within ourselves. That is where our truth resides—the light within us, shining through the shadows. It's in that inner light that we find the power to make real changes and bring about the transformation we seek.

Looking for answers elsewhere is just an illusion. Based on my own experiences in the past year, I can say with certainty that finding fulfillment, just like healing, is an inside job. Change is also an inside job. As Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." It's something we have to do from within.

If we keep deflecting the problem or pointing fingers at others, it's like giving our car keys to a stranger and then getting frustrated when we need the car and it's not in our driveway. The deeper question we need to ask ourselves is why do we give our power away in the first place? And the answer lies in the fact that we are born into a certain mindset.

From the day we are born, we start absorbing all sorts of beliefs and programming. Our life purpose is to unravel and rise above the programming, transforming our gifts. It's like an apple seed breaking open its shell to grow into a tree. It goes through several stages before bearing fruit. But imagine if the apple seed resists change and blames a nearby lemon tree for not producing apples.

That would be silly, right? Well, that's often what we do with our own lives. There are many reasons why we are excited to embrace our own unique gifts and share them with the world. One important factor is that throughout history, our focus has mainly been on survival rather than celebrating our individuality. Life in the past was demanding. If we wanted to eat, we had to sow our food and cultivate it.

And so we had little time to contemplate and self-reflect. Moreover, past leaders, whether driven by good intentions or influenced by ego, ignorance, superstitions, and fear, established norms and rules to maintain control over the masses. While some leaders genuinely wanted to do good, many used their power to enforce conformity. It was easier to keep control by pressuring everyone to fit into a specific mold.

Sadly, there were even leaders who implemented rules justifying the elimination of anyone who dared to deviate, causing immense suffering for countless people and their families. The scars of our past still live on today, manifesting as fear of change. We cling to what's familiar because we fear that what lies beyond may be worse. But in this state of mind, we limit our self-expression.

To cope, we adopt habits that keep us trapped in societal expectations. Our environment pushes us into predefined roles, and we play them by default, gradually losing sight of our true essence, focusing instead on external appearances. This is when we begin placing more value on material possessions rather than our own well-being. In conclusion, I invite you to seriously consider these matters.

As I mentioned before, the ego thrives on pain and separation, exposing us to situations that undermine our happiness. However, when you cultivate mindful self-control, you gain several advantages by training your mind to embrace and build resilience. You become skilled at bouncing back from external triggers as you transform. You will find that your attachment to material things lessens, allowing for faster recovery.

Bitter issues no longer bother you. You will begin to prioritize human connections over material possessions. This change in perspective keeps destructive egos at bay. They seek pain and separation, which they won't find when you operate from a place of non-resistance. They will move on to easier targets, avoiding confrontation with someone like you. And when all these elements align, that is when you truly embody empowerment.

Stay tuned for the next episode where I will expand further on what I've discussed today. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope that this message was insightful. If you believe this episode can help a friend, please share it. Additionally, don't forget to subscribe until our next episode. Please take care, stay safe, and have a fabulous day. Thank you so much for tuning in.

I hope our time together has left you feeling inspired to tap into your inner magic. Remember, you are worthy of love, health, and wealth, and everything you need to achieve your dreams is already within you. If you've enjoyed this episode and found value in the content, please consider leaving a review and subscribing by clicking the link on the show notes.

If you're ready to take your personal growth to the next level, I invite you to join the waiting list for "Courage Confidence," an upcoming course designed to help you unlock your full potential and cultivate unshakable confidence. Thank you again for listening, and I look forward to continuing this journey with you.